Where Am I?

{{Slightly deep thoughts going on over here. Just a warning!}}

I do a lot of thinking when I work at home alone, which is basically four days out of the week. I spend a lot of time on social media (Facebook and instagram and I are BFFs.)

As I sit down and scroll through posts, I have a strong tendency to be jealous. I see pictures of perfect homes and I begin to wish for more than my 300 square foot apartment. I see women snuggling their beautiful babies and something inside me wishes for more than my two cats. I want a nicer car or a prettier couch or a bigger closet.

Truthfully, I am so happy with my husband and my cats and my adorable little apartment, but there is always something inside me that wants more. I get jealous of people who are looking at houses because I know that we won't be buying a house anytime soon. I know that for the foreseeable future, we'll be living in apartments around the world and we won't have that physical house to call our own. I see people at the beach and I want to be at the beach. I see people going skiing and I want to be in the snow, breathing in the fresh air and seeing the mountains. I see people with babies, and dogs, and hedgehogs and I want them!

I am never content. Something inside me is always longing for what I can't have. I've always been like that. And I know I'm not alone.

It doesn't matter if you're old, young, married, divorced, single, with kids, without kids, with pets, without pets, living in the most amazing place in the world, or living in a barren wasteland, someone, somewhere is going to have something you want. But friends, don't let your envy take your joy.

Look for what you have, whether it be your health, your family, your friends, your pets, your home, anything. These are gifts. These are your gifts, given to you for this time and place.

Enjoy them. Love them. Be content with what you have.

This is going to be an ongoing struggle. I will always fight with being content where I am, but I will not let my discontent take my joy. Because once I am joyful, what I have doesn't matter as much. Suddenly, what I have is all that I need and it becomes all that I want. I can be happy, knowing that God has placed me here for a purpose and he has placed certain circumstances in my life for a purpose, but being in the center of God's will is truly the safest, happiest place to be.